Re-hashes

Our RA had come through for us. The sun had emerged. Sadly, that would be the only service C*ms in Handy would render today. For he, alongside Loose Nuts, was to co-hare today's "trail" in the latter's neighborhood of Johanneskirchen. To call it a trail, dear readers, is a charitable gesture indeed. For what it lacked in length, invention and originality, it also lacked in clarity and visible markers. It was observed by your scribe that perhaps the hares are accustomed to things that are short and difficult to find. Indeed, the path we tread meandered beside another, far more skillfully designed path—one we couldn't help but wish we had followed instead.

We blindly found our way to the drink stop by following the sound of wankers enjoying a bottle of Eierpunsch.
We would not linger long. Soon the sun would retreat once more behind its gray barricade. We made our way hastily to the On-In. Well, some of us did. The FRBs led by Millie the dog took a scenic detour through some back roads and parking lots.
After heartily downing some pandemic style snack bags, the circle was convened.

A special thanks to Smoke Stack, Poor Me Water and the backsliding Speedo Gonzalez for providing beer, cheer and musical accompaniment.
A special jeer to the hares for a sh*tty run.
A warm welcome to virgin Marcel from Cologne, forced to c*m by his wife Just Charlotte.
We were graced with the presence of one Asskey, blithely intruding upon our circle without a care in the world about the burdensome trail. Oh, how I envied her. Her boytoy Birkenc*ck would meet us at the On-After, having wisely chosen a ski trip over today's proceedings.
Down-downs were given in double time as the temperature continued to plummet: semi-nudity on trail for P*ssy Riot and Bottom Blower; pissing on trail for Handy, Just Charlotte, Millie and appropriately Piss Spice.
There was some confusion with regard to the DFLs. It seemed the DFLs were DTF or the FRBs had BDE. Full disclosure, I was growing bored by this point and had stopped paying attention. Please treat the remainder of the transcription with even more skepticism.
RU*ssPutin pointed out that Loose Nuts laid trail from his bicycle.
As it was January 18, Handy thoughtfully pointed out that it was German Empire Day. The Germans drank to Otto von Bismarck.
Piss Spice got a down-down for doing absolutely nothing and the rest of her country fellows graciously joined her for a drink.
A reminder from Asskey: if we don't get more volunteers for haring soon, she will harass you. All of you.