Hash R*n #922 — Haidhausen: The Gray Gatsby as written by The GOAT Fucker
Munich rolled out its finest shade of slate for r*n 922—winter temperatures tastefully curated for mid-autumn, because the calendar is just a suggestion. Anal Weiss hosted us in beautiful Haidhausen with a meticulous chalk talk that was so informative we almost didn't need the trail. In fact, we almost didn't have time for the trail by the time it was finished.Highlights included a grand tour of the city's finest waterless fountains and aggressively shallow rivers. There were play stops aplenty and spank stops by the gross. My backside has filed a formal complaint.A very late c**mer materialized at the drink stop. Although according to her, she was simply at her usual drinking spot beneath Nike's golden wings at the Friedensengel and we accidentally stumbled into her. She vanished again before circle. For anonymity's sake, we'll call her G. Pedicure Golden P.
Back at circle we performed the usual theater of the absurd. We began by applauding our Song Meistress, Poor Me Water and our Hummus Meister, Bird Brian (the true pillars of our community). We proceeded to welcome virgin Just Matthew to the tribe; he won't be back. Two visitors graced us—Boobie Locks and Locked Up Abroad. They won't read this.Gay Sailor's parents were in town but fled before circle—apparently they couldn't handle their son coming out as a sailor. Anchors away.Nudity occurred (as is usually the case): the two BBs and Czech My Cactus. Who could blame them - if you've got it, flaunt it. Speaking of which, the highlight of the day had to be Bottom Blower's spirited performance on the pole — grace, power, and questionable physics. Meanwhile Cherry Kicker found a hammock, took a tactical nap, and later taught our virgin the art of the downless down-down.Many hashers answered nature's call on trail, including both BBs again. For the first time in recorded history, Loose Nuts did not. We've referred him to a urologist as a precaution.C*ms in Handy muttered something about Anal Weiss being cockney, or cock-needy, or cock-something—hard to parse with that accent. Speaking of, C*ms in Handy is apparently a colossal drunk. Source: Bird Brian. Thank you for your journalism.The circle dragged on for (what felt like) several more hours thanks to Anal Weiss's avant-garde approach to on-after reservations. Mercifully, nothing of consequence happened, and I awakened just in time to shuffle to a nearby curry joint.Thanks to all who participated. Now please apply ice to whatever needs it.
In faithful scription,
G**t Fucker