Who knew Voldemort would be sprinting through Munich, scaring small children and probably violating some public decency laws? Just another typical Hash House Harriers run!
#### **The Cast of Characters**
- **Songmeister & Walking Trail Hare:** Smokestack
- **Running Trail Hare:** Bottom Blower
- **Beermeister:** Princess Parkour
- **Hash Scribe:** Just Nishal (yours truly, and already regretting it)
---
### **The Running Trail – A Journey of Lies and Shiggy**
- That so-called "oldest farmhouse" was a scam. We were deceived.
- Far too much shiggy, featuring the charming company of goat and pig fuckers.
- Zero snake markings. Disappointed, but also somewhat relieved.
### **The Walking Trail – A Cultural Misadventure**
- Something about a church, apparently very boring.
- A heartwarming tale about meeting an old hasher, but I was too drunk to note the details.
- More complaints about the **fake-ass** "oldest farmhouse" – bullshit confirmed.
---
### **Visitors & Backsliders – The Usual Suspects**
We welcomed a visitor from Manila: **Pig Fucker!** (And yes, he _insisted_ on the exclamation mark.) He enlightened us all by declaring himself:
- "Shagging single"
- "Curved for sure"
- "Likes it crunchy" (…concerning)
- Unable to keep his hands out of his pockets (deeply concerning)
Our beloved backsliders also made an unwanted return after nobody noticed their absence. Shout-out to **Rugby Man, Banana Beater, Too Lazy to Swallow,** and _yours truly._
---
### **Milestones & Betrayals**
- **Great Balls of Fire** and **Muddy Rucker** celebrated their Hashing birthdays! 🎉
- We inhaled delicious sandwiches made by **Sourdough** and **Hendl My Cock,** lovingly decorated with tiny Canadian flags 🇨🇦 (because nothing says Hashing like polite nationalism).
- Not everyone embraced the Fasching theme - we blamed it on, **Mother Fucking Teresa** and **Too Lazy to Swallow.** You owe us all a better effort next year.
- Some hashers _didn’t even bother wearing Hash gear!_ Shameful! More **down-downs** for **Sourdough, Rainbone, Rugby Man,** and _yours truly_ (seriously, I need to stop writing this).
Oh, and let’s not forget the ultimate betrayal—our original hare **Goat Fucker** **bailed early.** BOO! The crowd was not pleased. To make things worse, **MFT** and **Too Lazy to Swallow** decided to dip out at this point, adding to the chaos.
---
### **The Grand Disappointments**
- We were _promised_ a spectacular view of Munich’s newest construction project at the drink stop.
- Turns out, it was just a **brand-new kitchen.**
- The only thing getting built that evening was our collective frustration.
To ease our pain, **Sourdough** got his **25-run cup,** which was nice, I guess.
At this point, I was looking a little stressed as the Hash Scribe, which _obviously_ meant I had to do another down-down. Things got progressively blurrier after that.
---
### **Annual General Piss-Up Awards & More Chaos**
Some awards were handed out, but thanks to my alcohol-induced memory loss, I can only recall one:
- **"Best Drink Stop"** went to **My Cock Will Choke You** (I think) for a legendary selection of **Cuba Libre, Mojito, and Beer.**
Other notable moments:
- **Loose Nuts** and **Just Catrinel** rocked masks for Fasching – down-downs for them!
- **Goat Fucker** and **Rainbone** showed up in hoodies/capes – more down-downs!
---
### **The Grand Finale (If You Can Call It That)**
I wish I had a poetic or profound ending, but all I remember is a bunch of people moaning:
**"Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah!"**
So… yeah. **Oh yeah!**